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The Manchester United penalty of the week award has formally been scrapped.
I do know, I do know, it is a unhappy day for the awards group. It feels tantamount to Leonardo DiCaprio lastly profitable his first Oscar, solely to interrupt the statuette over his knee and name for the abolishment of the Academy Awards.
I do not doubt for one second that my cellphone can be gridlocked with missed calls from Bruno Fernandes, questioning in sheer hysteria how he is presumably going to proceed his footballing profession with out this irreparable change to the GIVEMESPORT Awards.
Goodbye Man Utd penalty of the week
However alas, with the boys’s senior crew at Previous Trafford failing to win penalties on a weekly foundation, we simply did not have the center to repeatedly dish out our prestigious, gold-plated, historic accolade to the lesser-spotter penalty taker ‘N/A’.
He is a prime participant, although, not going to lie.
But it surely’s an enormous victory for the Fb commenters who’ve been calling me varied iterations of human genitalia over the previous few weeks, duly exposing my uncontrollable, raging hatred for all the pieces United.
Deep from inside the cave through which I write my articles, decked out with Ole Gunnar Solskjaer pinned to a dartboard and a shrine to Graeme Souness, it is taken some actual emotional energy to dump this award on the scrapheap.
GIVEMESPORT Awards
I do not understand how I will operate with out it, I am not going to lie, so be happy to ship flowers, sweets or iPhones to PO Field PleaseLord, LetReaders, SpotTheSarcasm, IAM2 FunE.
Okay, jokes apart, welcome to the new-year-new-me model of the GIVEMESPORT Awards, trying slimmer than ever within the spirit of these pumping the iron and ditching the booze all through January.
However when you suppose we have gone all stylish on you – a pure assumption to make, I am positive – worry not as a result of we’re nonetheless decking it out with the type of silliness and light-heartedness that you may try beneath:
Aim of the week
Luuk de Jong vs Valencia
The soccer purists on the market should have been wetting themselves when Sevilla scored one of many best crew objectives in trendy historical past within the Copa del Rey, finishing 37 paces in a shocking transfer that featured all 11 gamers.
And it took a aim of such world-class proportions to defeat some powerful competitors this week with Lionel Messi and Luis Suarez scoring gorgeous free-kicks and Dani Parejo notching an absolute screamer for Villarreal.
Participant of the week
Ellery Balcombe
Look, we’ll admit it, we’re responsible of leaning on Europe’s prime 5 leagues right here on the GMS Awards, so it is about time we corrected our course and Doncaster Rovers’ Balcombe gave us the right excuse to.
Again-to-back clear sheets are a stable place to start out, however it was Rovers’ second victory, over fellow promotion chasers Lincoln Metropolis, that noticed Balcombe shine with two unbelievable penalty saves, denying Jorge Grant and Anthony Scully.
That being stated, we would be remiss to not point out the likes of Mohamed Salah, Joshua Kimmich, Callum Hudson-Odoi and Suarez for their very own magical shows during the last seven days.
Supervisor of the week
Paco Lopez
Levante had per week to recollect with Lopez barking orders from the dugout, progressing to the Copa del Rey quarter-finals, one thing that La Liga leaders Atletico Madrid could not obtain, with a 4-2 win at Actual Valladolid.
However issues bought even higher when Lopez’s males returned to league motion, securing a memorable 2-1 win at Real Madrid with José Luis Morales Nogales and Roger Marti cancelling out Marco Asensio’s opener.
Nevertheless, we could not hand the award to Lopez with out giving a particular shoutout to Chris Wilder, whose Sheffield United crew secured simply their second league win of the season with an admirable triumph at Manchester United.
Sport of the week
Inter Milan 2-1 AC Milan
The place will we even start!? For starters, Zlatan Ibrahimovic opened the scoring for AC Milan, solely to grow to be embroiled in a viral altercation with Romelu Lukaku and earn himself a pink card for fouling Aleksandar Kolarov.
Then, simply to inject some additional drama, Lukaku himself drew the rating degree with an anger-fuelled penalty, teeing up Christian Eriksen, of all gamers, to safe the win with an excellent free-kick deep into stoppage time.
Outrageous ability of the week
Tanguy Ndombele vs Liverpool
There’s not been loads to cheer about at Spurs just lately, let’s face it, however the renaissance of Ndombele has definitely been one in every of them and he even channeled his inside Zinedine Zidane through the Liverpool defeat.
It needed to take one thing particular to dislodge Nicolas Pepe’s double nutmeg at Southampton from the highest step of the rostrum, however the Frenchman sucking the soul out of James Milner with a stunning pirouette did simply that.
Fallon d’Ground
Rodrigo vs Newcastle United
Fortunately, not like early replays of the incident implied, Rodrigo did not spit at Fabian Schar, however he most definitely supplied one of the crucial dramatic dives we have seen within the Premier League this season.
Do not get me flawed, Schar was all the time asking for hassle tapping his opponent and leaning ahead along with his head, but when that is all it takes to make Rodrigo fall over, then I suppose he would not go away the home every time it is windy.
Strangest punditry of the week
Harry Redknapp on Thomas Tuchel
According to The Sun, Redknapp mused on Sky Sports activities Information: “Who says he’s an excellent supervisor? Successful titles at PSG in France doesn’t make you an excellent supervisor. What does that show?
“You’re fairly entitled to win the league in France whenever you’re managing PSG. Solely time will inform how good he’s.”
We love you, Harry, we actually do, however judging Tuchel solely on the premise of profitable each trophy underneath the solar with PSG, which is seemingly a bit of cake, makes it look as if you’ve got simply skimmed by way of his Wikipedia web page.
Disasterclass of the week
Newcastle United capturing drill
Earlier than their gleefully surprising win at Everton, Newcastle, generally, might properly have occupied this award with a darkish cloud hovering over St. James Park earlier than, after and through their 2-1 defeat to Leeds United.
In addition to, the writing was on the wall when Callum Wilson and Jacob Murphy had a nightmare within the pre-match capturing drill simply because the commentary bemoaned Newcastle’s ‘powerful time’ and the way the gamers needed to ‘step up.’
Tweet of the week
Martin de Roon mocking Zlatan Ibrahimovic
Yeh, so, it has been one thing of a busy week for Ibrahimovic with the AC Milan striker sucked right into a spat with the opposition lengthy earlier than his alternate with Lukaku made worldwide headlines.
That is as a result of Atalanta’s De Roon roasted ‘Zlatan’ for telling Duvan Zapata: “I’ve scored extra objectives than you might have performed in your profession,” by mixing footage of their 3-0 win on the San Siro with hilarious music.
Craziest wager of the week
Huge win in horse racing
Reality be instructed, the final seven days have not been all that dramatic in relation to soccer followers profitable small-fortunes for jammy ten-million-team accumulators, so you are going to need to forgive us for swapping sports activities.
However we could not ignore Twitter user @Liamcarr_3 going viral for an enormous £17,897.29 win from only a £4.28 stake, accurately predicting outcomes at Lingfield and Wolverhampton. You like to see it.
Sunday League award
Serge Aurier vs Liverpool
There’s a component of Sunday-Leagueception about Aurier’s profitable efficiency towards Liverpool, exhibiting each the type of defending and behavior that you just’d anticipate to see from a pub crew.
The Telegraph reported that Aurier, who was woefully at fault for Roberto Firmino’s aim, left the stadium after a half-time interval that noticed the defender substituted and per the Daily Mail, issues kick off within the dressing room.
Now, we do not faux to know all the pieces that went on behind closed doorways at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, however let’s simply say we want the Amazon captures captured the second that Mourinho and Aurier went toe-to-toe.
S***housery award
Lorient mocking Paris Saint-Germain
We is perhaps approaching the one-year anniversary of PSG mocking Erling Braut Haaland along with his trademark celebration, however a bunch of multi-millionaires attempting to one-up a 19-year-old nonetheless appears simply as pathetic.
So, sure, I would be mendacity if I wasn’t slightly smug when Lorient determined to rub PSG’s nostril in it by revisiting the meditation pose upon Terem Moffi’s stoppage-time winner, finishing a late comeback from 2-1 down.
The Roy Keane award
David Luiz celebrating a block
As you’d anticipate, Keane was on prime kind throughout Sky’s protection of Arsenal vs United, so we needn’t infer what may need p***ed him off this week as a result of he instructed us all on dwell tv.
After seeing Luiz react to blocking a free-kick with a cheeky fistbump, he could not assist joking: “And that is the spotlight for Arsenal – Luiz appears like he’s scored a aim there himself!
“He’s clearly delighted with the job he’s achieved there, yeah. That’s the spotlight for him.”
City Dictionary of the week
Phrase: Abramovich (verb)
Definition: Bringing an finish to one thing the second that issues get troublesome
In a sentence: For so long as I dwell, I’ll all the time remorse abramoviching my old flame in 2014. We had essentially the most stunning, caring relationship and had been prepared to think about marriage and youngsters. However all of that needed to finish after we had our first argument as a result of, properly, she left hair grips completely all over the place.
Managerial innuendo of the week
“Wow, you’re actually digging deep. However that was one in every of my first experiences and I wasn’t even conscious that it was a membership from London.”
Wowsers. We’re sorry to listen to that, Thomas, we would not need a membership digging deep into us both, no matter whether or not it is from London or Timbuktu.
TV Burp Award
Most star-struck Years 7s after a snug thrashing by excellent 12 months 11 of the week
Ah, we’re solely kidding, Lionel, you stylish so and so. It is good to know that arguably the world’s greatest participant nonetheless has time for the kids even when he is six Ballon d’Or trophies deep.
The spectre of racist abuse
Welcome to the tip, GMS troopers, we sincerely hope that we have supplied a light-hearted beeline by way of the final seven days of the gorgeous sport.
However as a lot as we began this text with a swash of sarcasm and slapstick about United, we would be remiss to disregard the extra severe and troubling occasions which have befallen the Reds Devils this week.
The likes of Anthony Martial, Axel Tuanzebe and Marcus Rashford had been all topic to inexcusable racist abuse that merely has no place in soccer nor wider society.
It stays perpetually gutting and horrifying that so-called soccer followers, cowardly veiled by social media monikers, chastise gamers for his or her race and ethnicity.
And with the hydra of discrimination wielding numerous, emetic tentacles that see gamers attacked for his or her nationalities, religions, sexual orientations and extra, the necessity for retaliation, resilience and training couldn’t be clearer.
In a yr the place we lengthy for the unity of standing alongside our fellow supporters once more, we can not enable the hatred of some to propagate division within the many.
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